Northaven UMC takes historic vote to celebrate same-sex weddings

Photo Courtesy of Northaven UMC

by Christy Thomas

“I cried in church today. I cried because something deep within me felt like my church is standing with me, taking risks for me. They told me that I wasn’t disposable.”

This statement was made by Cody McMahan, a member of Northaven United Methodist Church in Dallas, TX. The Rev. Eric Folkerth has served as pastor there since 2001. On June 26, 2016, Northaven UMC voted by a margin of 98% to permit the celebration of all marriages, including same-sex marriages, at their church.

Rev. Mike House, a retired clergy from the North Texas Annual Conference, calls Northaven his home church, having placed his Charge Conference membership there. House “came out to himself” as a gay men in 1972 while a student a Perkins School of Theology. Ironically, that is the year that the restrictive language pertaining to “self-proclaimed” homosexuals entered the Book of Discipline.

House served multiple churches, both as Associate and as Senior Pastor, during his 40 years of service in the NTAC. He never married. He also never lived during that time as a “self-proclaimed” homosexual, and so worked within the law of the Discipline. As a matter of integrity and faithfulness to his own soul, he took early retirement–and the financial hit that came with it. He now works as a sales associate at a Dallas-area Barnes and Noble bookstore.

No staff or lay leadership would comment for this story. House, who stated clearly that he is not speaking officially for Northaven and holds no official position there, offered his description of the June 26 vote at the church. It came as a result of a two-year, lay-driven process. Every single person was asked to participate in the work of discernment. They took their time, examining carefully both their ministry setting and at the Constitution of The United Methodist Church.

As they studied, the members of the congregation became aware that the Constitution and the restrictions on full membership privileges, particularly the privilege of marriage for same-sex couples at their own church facility, were in conflict.

In the official resolution, they noted:

The Constitution of The United Methodist Church states that “The United Methodist Church is  a part  of  the  church  universal,  which  is  one Body in Christ. The United Methodist Church acknowledges  that  all  persons  are  of  sacred  worth. All  persons  without  regard  to race, color, national origin, status,  or  economic  condition,  shall  be  eligible  to attend  its  worship  services,  participate  in  its programs, receive the sacraments, upon baptism be admitted as baptized members, and upon taking vows declaring  the  Christian  faith,  become  professing  members  in  any  local  church  in  the  connection.  In  The United Methodist Church no conference or other organizational unit of the Church shall be structured so as to exclude any member or any constituent body of the Church because of race, color, national origin, status or economic condition.” (Emphasis added.)

According to House, congregational leaders cautiously prepared the vote to ensure its legitimacy. Each member was mailed a numbered ballot. Only one ballot per number could be cast. No visitors or regular attendees who had not taken formal membership vows were permitted to vote.

The Northaven UMC congregation recently hosted an interfaith event. Photo courtesy of the North Texas Conference.

Northaven generally sees about 180 in worship on any given Sunday. On June 26, the numbers were in the mid-200’s. And the vote was decisive.

The e-newsletter sent to the congregation after the vote included this statement:

The decision by the Northaven congregation is in full alignment with the ministry of the church, its mission field, its commitment to social justice and inclusion, and to the core precepts of The United Methodist Church. The Northaven vote empowers the church to extend pastoral care to all of its members in the important area of marriage.

Northaven UMC is known in the Central Dallas area for its longstanding and effective ministry to the local gay and lesbian communities. The church lost a significant number of members after the 2012 General Conference. The direction of the 2016 General Conference, with all legislative proposals seeking to soften the restrictive language in the BOD being routinely defeated in the Legislative Committees, would probably have led to even greater membership losses. Instead, the congregation took this decisive step to clarify their willingness to ministry fully to those in their cultural context.

As House noted, this decision finally gives him and other gay and lesbian members in the community full membership. He sees this as a difference between being welcomed, which many churches do, and being a member with all the same rights and privileges.

Where actual marriages are concerned, the church newsletter also stated:

The celebration of marriage within a church community is for any couple an intensely personal and pastoral event. Decisions about marriage are appropriately made by a couple, with the benefit of consultation with their pastor or the clergy of their choice.  Northaven will fully respect the personal and pastoral nature of marriage ceremonies at Northaven.

Read a Personal Response by Mike House: Being Welcomed In Action, Not Just Words

Christy Thomas

I’m a retired Elder in the United Methodist Church, the place I finally discovered grace after a lifelong search. I love writing, gardening, reading, asking questions and making connections between political and religious practices.

My husband and I jointly claim eleven children (as he says, “mostly by mergers and acquisitions!”) and twelve grandchildren. In between our own travels, we love to have them and many others come and stay with us a bit. We see so much of the heavenly grace in the offering of earthly hospitality.